Country Living

Fake Cowboy Detection Guide

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Hat Shape?

A hat will tell you almost everything you need to know. If it’s shaped like a taco, he’s a special kind of boy, but probably not a cowboy. The shape of his hat will speak volumes! There’s a certain crease for a bronc rider or bull rider. Hat shapes vary from region to region. For instance, Montana has a style of it’s own, high in the crown and wide in the brim with a good bend. The Louisiana cowboy’s crown will be a little flatter with not much dip from front to back.

Hat Pins?

Does his hat look like a steamer trunk from a Humphrey Bogart movie? A hat pin from everywhere he’s been including truck stops? When he walks, does his hat jingle instead of his spurs? Nope. Fake cowboy.

Straw or Felt?

If he’s wearing a straw hat in the winter or a felt hat in the dead of summer, it’s a major fashion foul. Everybody knows that just isn’t done.

Spray Paint and Fuzzy Feathers?

Your new cowboy friend isn’t a cowboy, he’s a cowgirl. UNLESS he’s Tim McGraw. Then he’s Tim McGraw.

Boots?

Very shiny, not well worn, no marks on the heels from spurs or rub spots from spur straps over the front? Real pointy toes, unless he’s a Mexican cowboy, are a dead giveaway with most top hands preferring squared toes to not gouge the sides of green or broncy horses while mounting. Flat-footed soles are the mark of the modern day concrete cowboy, if truck drivers are your thing, strike up the conversation. Forgive the occasional athletic shoes, Hushpuppies, or even Crocs if that cowboy is Top Hand Cody DeMoss from Louisiana if he’s just driven in. NEVER forgive loafers. Metro-sexual cowboys don’t even go there.

Belt Buckle?

Shiny is as shiny does. No self-respecting REAL cowboy buys a buckle at a store. He’s won that baby somewhere down the road or watch him very closely.

Peter Varlet

Peter the "Cowboy" is a gunslinger style writer from Bismark, North Dakota. Controversy is his middle name. He loves the cowboy lifestyle and being an American.

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